Review 52: Briefs for the Reading Room by Dan Marvin

Briefs for the Reading Room
by Dan Marvin
Copyright: © 2008
Paperback $12.98
Ebook $6.25
132 Pages
ISBN: 9780982278307

Bathroom duty has been the subject of many books, mostly targeted toward children.  Some of my favorites are The Gas We Pass and Everyone Poops.  But just search the word “poop” at Amazon and you’ll find books for adults as well.  Dan Marvin’s book, Briefs for the Reading Room, is one such book, but don’t worry.  It’s not about what’s in the bowl, but instead is a book designed to give you something to read while waiting for the end result.

In Dan’s introduction, he jokes that we probably spend about 14 years of our life in the bathroom.  I tried Googling that theory to see how close to the truth he might be.  The first answer I found to my question of how long do we actually spend on the toilet was “Depends if the book I’m reading is a good one.”  I couldn’t have said it better myself.  And at long last, an author has created a book of “micro-novels” specifically designed to make better use of the time we spend on the throne or “in the library.”

As Dan puts it, “I jump right to the good part, wrap it up in a hurry, and let you get on with your life.” Each story is indeed only 1 or 2 pages long, so you can get through several in…ahem…one sitting.  There’s no character development, no plot set up, no pages and pages of setting, description, or flashbacks to mull over or flip through.  If you like flash fiction, it doesn’t get any flashier than this!  I’ve never tried to write flash fiction myself, but have often read it (some good and some bad).  I know it’s all about size (often less than 200 words) and content (you try telling a good story in 200 words or less).  And I also know Dan Marvin is a genius at it.

There are over 100 tiny tales to get you through some “difficult times.”  Dan’s subject matter ranges from fantasy, to courtroom drama, to mystery, to children’s themes, to just good ole thought provoking fiction.  After about the first 20 stories, I found myself going back and rereading them to figure out if I had missed anything.  I wanted more.  Indeed, in less than a page I was completely engrossed in the character and wanted more from them.  But again and again, I was expecting too much.  Be warned!  Many of the stories will “just be getting good” when they suddenly come to an end, leaving you to wonder what the heck happened.  But that’s the beauty of a book like this; the author wants you to think about each story long after you finished it.  Dan has done a superb job of keeping the stories concise and detailed enough for you to draw your own conclusions.  There is not a single word wasted!

One of my favorites is called “A Victim of Circumstance” in which a quirky Private Eye receives a note from his secretary that something is about to fall on him.  He’s such a good Private Eye that he ponders the note a little bit too much:

I studied the message Lila had given me. It was printed on a “Here’s your Message” Post It note, the kind that one comes off the top and it sticks to stuff but not too tight because you will want to throw it out eventually. You know the type. It looked familiar, much like the paper Lila usually uses to give me messages. That was it! It was a message from Lila, the kind I usually got! Now we were getting somewhere. That’s where you are arriving at a place different from where you were earlier.

Just when the reader (and the detective) should be more concerned about what is about to fall on him, the story comes to a dot dot dot ending right when the detective finally looks up. He never knew what hit him, and neither do we!  But that’s the beauty of writing like this.  We aren’t supposed to know.  The author focuses the reader’s attention on something else quite trivial that in a regular length novel might not otherwise be brought to light.

The majority of the stories also start with a quick and fun introduction almost reminiscent of a sketch comedy show, or a Hitchcock monologue, even Masterpiece Theater…”a hard hitting expose by Dan Marvin, fiction about fiction by Dan Marvin, an epic saga by Dan Marvin, visionary prophecy from the mind of Dan Marvin.”  The list goes on and on.  Add to this some tongue-in-cheek quotes or comments as footnotes at the end of many of the stories as well.  Here are some of my favorites…

This space left intentionally blank.

Phabricated Philosophy – Time goes quickly when you’re having fun. Therefore, to
live a really long life, you should never have any fun. So stop reading this book
and go eat Brussels sprouts or something.

Fabricated Factoid –
78 – Percentage of travelers in recent poll that thought customer service of major airlines had declined in the last five years.
100 – Percentage of major airlines who would never admit it but think deep down that passengers should just stop whining already.

Rent this space! Your ad here!

Erroneous Excerpt – “’Nevermore’ quoth the Raven, after eating a greasy hamburger, fries, and a chocolate shake all in one sitting.” -Edgar Allen Po’boy

Now, for those of you who may be blushing from all of this bathroom humor, don’t worry. You can read this book anywhere.  Dan even gives you a list of places to try it out…the car wash, the soccer game while your kid is on the bench, the dog park, even the operating table two minutes before your anesthesia kicks in!

Move over Uncle John’s Reader and make room for a new book on top of the tank.  Dan Marvin’s Briefs for the Reading Room is a perfect gift for that quirky uncle always telling jokes, or for that friend whose attention span ends at around 30 seconds, or a book you should just treat yourself to when at the end of the day you want to read something but don’t want to commit to a book that’s too heavy.  I give it 5 star flushes!

Insert predictable bowel movement jokes here.

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